Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Daughter's left/Christmas curse

This is the third time she's done something horrible to me right around Christmas. First was when she fucked off to the country with a 19yr old guy she got to know online; the first Christmas after the death of her mother/my wife. She had just turned 16 so I couldn't go out there and get her. She also told the police that she was scared I was going to "hit her". I was all alone after my wife's death, then she fucked off telling everyone what a bad person I was. That one ripped my heart out and hurt worst than my wife dying.

The second one was after she'd been living back here for about a year, being an absolute fuckin asshole. We had huge screaming arguments about stupid little things like cleaning her room and household chores. In the end we ended up having a real doozy, at which time I did punch her very lightly on the arm as I told her to "get out of my fuckin house". She went to the local police and had me charged with domestic violence FFS. That happened about a month after Christmas.

And now this time, she's moved out in a great fit of anger telling everyone what a terrible person I am for staying with David. Just before Christmas. Fuck! WTF is going on with her and Christmas? Glad I don't celebrate it anymore, or I'd likely be a mess right now.

It was really horrible how she left. I'm not unhappy that she's moved as it was well and truly due time, but the way she did it.......  She went and packed up what she was taking, came and got Felix off his favourite chair at the back door, and left. Didn't say goodbye, see you later, anything. Poor Felix is gonna be wondering WTF is going on; it's no way to move a cat. I'd have liked to give him a pat on the head and say it was OK as he got taken out, I mean fuck I've been looking after him a lot. 

Her room is a pigsty. There's three years of dust behind things, and a flea jumped on me in there. I'd say one of her feral druggie friends that she would have in there a lot bought them in. Probably the bed bugs she got as well; a really bad infestation it was. I'd guess that that's how they got into my room too. Thing is I don't see why I should have to clean up her room again, for the third fuckin time,  because she's left in a huff. I texted her asking when she was planning on cleaning it properly, but of course no answer. David said he'd help.

It hurts yes, the way she left. I don't deserve to be treated like that, especially by my own daughter. David was very worried about me yesterday as there were periods when I couldn't stop crying. He was even going to not go to work, but I said it was OK for him to. Nothing I can do about the pain. It's just going to hurt. That's life. Glad I've got David now to help me through and not alone like previously.

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