Tuesday, 17 December 2013

Conditional love

Feeling pretty bad at the moment. Daughter in the process of packing all her stuff up, doing washing from fuck knows how long; the whole line is full outside with her stuff. Hassled and nearly kicked Natasha (one of David's cats) telling her to "get out". Natasha came running out of the kitchen and hid in a box. David saw it as he'd walked in with her unaware he was in the room. So later David and I are talking about it and she walks in, I ask her why she's being mean to the cats? She denies it, even though David saw her. Big argument between them. Me standing there in the middle of it.

So they're both screaming at each other, at one point it was so heated I put my hand on David's shoulder and said for him to go into the other room, which he did. Then she starts on me; "Have a good life with him" and saying she wasn't going to be a part of mine anymore with him in it. She's crapping on about whether she kicked the cat or not, and that David was lying and attacked her "for nothing". I'm rolling my eyes internally, saying I wasn't here so how could I know either way.

My point in the whole thing was that she's using her relationship with me as a lever in an argument. I told her this, said "WTF do you want me to do? Kick him out?" She goes on about this and that about him and how terrible he is. I say "It doesn't matter if he's the most worst person for you to get on with, I still love him. I can't choose who I fall in love with." It's not about who was right or who was wrong with the cat, it's about her accepting who I love. 

I also said to her "I love you unconditionally, will  always love you, and now you want to put conditions on your love for me." I dunno if I got through to her at all. In the end I left the room in frustration. How anyone could even consider using the love between a father and daughter as a bargaining chip is beyond me.

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